


The Red Files - Case #243 or How Beets Almost Ended the World

by ashtraythief



Series: The Red Files [1]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Jensen, Knotting, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, POV Outsider, Spies & Secret Agents, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:26:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtraythief/pseuds/ashtraythief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Agent Rhodes’s first week with an agency that doesn’t exist, surveilling a creature that doesn’t exist, with new computer technology that doesn’t exist. But her new co-worker is a smoking hot IT geek, so she doesn’t mind watching unassuming college student Jensen Ackles all day, waiting for his mysterious and, as of yet, unidentified boyfriend to show up</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Red Files - Case #243 or How Beets Almost Ended the World

**Author's Note:**

  * For [linvro21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/linvro21/gifts).



> Written for linvro21’s [prompt](http://j2-prompts.livejournal.com/4272.html?thread=14768#t14768) on [](http://j2-prompts.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://j2-prompts.livejournal.com/)**j2_prompts** , because today is her birthday and the awesomeness of her existence needs to be celebrated.

 

 

“It stinks in here.”

“I know.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“I think it’s kind of a prerequisite for surveillance vans to smell like sweat, stale coffee, old burgers, and older man aftershave.”

Kim snorted. Agent Day was right, of course. It’d just been a while since Kim had been on an honest-to-god sitting-in-the-obvious-repairman-van stakeout, and she’d forgotten about the cramped spaces and the stink. It had been bad when she’d done this shit with the FBI, and for some reason, she’d thought joining the Company would make things different. But alas, it seemed a stakeout van was a stakeout van, no matter what agency it belonged to, just as the dresscode was the same standard black suit and tie outfit. Not that this van belonged to any agency of course. How could it, when the agency in question didn’t exist?

“So, Agent Rhodes,” Day said, not taking her eyes off the monitors, “how are you settling in?”

The monitors in question showed nothing more than the empty rooms of a nice, normal apartment, but Kim knew that could change any second.

“Good, I think. It’s a bit jarring to find out all this stuff as I go along, but so far it’s been good. You have some really cool toys and I closed three cases last week.” Kim didn’t want to brag - except she kind of did, at least in front of the pretty redhead who supposedly was the most incredible human computer whiz.

Agent Day shot her a quick glance. “You did? Impressive. And also explains why you’re here.”

“Yeah.” Kim was pleased that she impressed Agent Day, but she didn’t comment further. She hadn’t found out yet what Company policy was on dating coworkers.

They both looked at the monitors and it was quiet for a bit. Day typed away with her slim fingers, the suit jacket hung over the back of her chair and the sleeves of her blouse rolled up to her elbows. She was running some kind of data, but Kim had no idea what it was for. Everything that blinked and beeped was Day’s specialty. Kim was here for the other stuff.

“So, no activity today?” she asked.

Day shook her head. “Ackles got up at 9:34, got dressed, and ran out of the apartment. He was five minutes late to class anyway, from what I heard, and he hasn’t been back yet.”

Kim had been surprised at first, when they’d told her her first stakeout target would be twenty-six year old Jensen Ackles. She'd never seen someone who looked more normal on paper. Born and raised in Texas, his parents were squeaky clean (apart from a bunch of parking tickets), and so were his siblings (apart from one charge of underage drinking and more parking tickets). Ackles had good grades, and a scholarship for college. He was getting his Masters in some obscure branch of Medieval English Literature, wore ripped jeans and converse, and was always running late. The only thing suspicious about him was his high caffeine intake.

And then she’d seen the pictures.

“What is he?” she’d asked Special Agent Beaver, when he’d given her the assignment.

Beaver had smirked. “Ackles? He’s human. Pretty, but completely and utterly human. His boyfriend on the other hand…” Beaver had trailed off and handed her another file.

Which was how she’d come to be surveilling the home of a slightly nerdy, but undeniably very pretty college student, in the hopes that his boyfriend would show up. They didn’t have anything concrete on this ‘Jared Padalecki’, but he raised all kinds of red flags, walking seamlessly through all dimensions. If only half their suspicions were right, he had his fingers in every deal that went down this side of Orion.

Trouble was, not only did they have nothing on him yet, but they didn’t even know exactly where he lived or what he was. Going in blind wasn’t only stupid, but also possibly suicidal. There were more things out there than they could ever hope to understand, and someone like Jared Padalecki… who knew what was hiding behind those adorable dimples?

“Alright, let’s see what we can see,” Kim said, and sat next down to Agent Day.

*

The next two days were uneventful. Ackles spent a lot of time at school, and when he was home, he read or watched TV. One evening, he went out to a bar that was occasionally frequented by the supernatural, but also by a lot of civilians. Since the only person he talked to was a werewolf named Danneel Harris, who had a few classes with him, no one was particularly worried.

“It’s still weird, though,” Kim said. “I mean, whatever Padalecki is, wouldn’t he know his boyfriend is hanging out with a werewolf?”

Agent Day shrugged her shoulders. “We thought so too. But them knowing each other is a coincidence, and Ackles has never been involved in any Shifter related business. If Padalecki knows, he doesn’t care. But we think that Ackles doesn’t know about Padalecki, so really…”

“To sum it up, we know nothing,” Kim said.

Agent Day swiveled around in her little chair and smiled at her. “We know that we know nothing. That’s something.”

Kim snorted and emptied her coffee cup. It was a long day, and not over yet. They had bugged Ackles’s phone and computer, but there appeared to be no communication with Padalecki. It was all a bit weird, and if Kim didn’t have such nice company, she probably would’ve started banging her head against the wall several hours ago. As it was, she got a bag of M&Ms out of her pocket and offered them to Agent Day.

“You know,” she said, munching on a handful, “if you’re offering me candy, you can call me Felicia.” And then she winked at Kim before turning back to her screen. Well. That was something Kim could work with.

*

The next day, something was different. Ackles got home directly after classes ended. Felicia and Kim were immersed in a debate about who was worse as a foe, aliens or earthbound supernatural critters, and almost missed Ackles bounding up the stairs to the apartment building he lived in.

“Well, someone looks happy today,” Kim pointed out, and Felicia nodded.

“Maybe we’ll finally get some action.”

Kim raised an eyebrow. Had she read Felicia wrong? The redhead just smiled at her though. “I can appreciate the aesthetics.”

So she _had_ read Felicia right. She was just about to go for a flirty reply and make it known that she was quite the equal opportunist herself, but then a man walked up the stairs of the apartment building. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with brown hair falling down to the collar of his shirt. It was Padalecki.

“Holy shit, where did he come from?”

Felicia stayed cool. “No idea. He just pops up somewhere and we get no reading whatsoever. It’s why my money is on seriously powerful extraterrestrial, because we can pick up all traces left by earthbound creatures who seem to appear out of thin air, like vamps and witches.”

Kim nodded. After the Company had recruited her, she’d gotten a crash course on all the weird creatures from inner, outer, and other dimensional space the Company dealt with. Ever since then, she’d taken the giant binder full of information about creatures and known alien races home and read from it every night. The only beings who were untraceable when they traveled were the mighty fae, the rulers of all fairies, and they left their realm only seldomly. The lesser faeries, like goblins, and even the occasional leprechaun, showed up in their dimension from time to time, but their faerie glitter was fairly easy to detect. Still…

“You ever thought Padalecki might be one of the fae?”

Felicia shook her head. “Look how he moves. Sure, he’s got the grace,” she said as they watched how Padalecki smoothly ascended the stairs and entered the building, “but he moves like a predator. And there’s something about his eyes…”

“Aren’t there dark fae though?” Kim asked.

Felicia shot her an amused look. “No idea. No human has ever been to the faerie realm, and you can’t believe a word out of a goblin’s mouth. We might know a lot about nymphs and gremlins and such, but the fae are more or less a mystery. Most of what we know is based on hearsay. They seem to have some kind of enemy, from what we can tell, but it’s been peaceful the last few years. We think there’s been some sort of truce. And thank god for that, because the last time there was a great war in the faerie realm, the plague descended upon Europe. It’s like the energy turned dark and spilled over, messing up our dimension as well. So whatever the fae's enemies are, we don’t want them coming back.”

Kim nodded, and looked back at the screen. Padalecki had entered the apartment, without a key it seemed, but Ackles wasn’t surprised, if the way he jumped at him was anything to go by.

“Thank fuck, I thought you’d never show up,” Ackles said, and the sound quality of the van’s media system was really amazing.

Padalecki chuckled low in his throat, and Kim knew what Felicia had meant when she’d talked about a predator.

“Hey, treasure,” Padalecki said and kissed Ackles on the top of his head. Kim knew that Ackles wasn’t short, but he looked almost small in Padalecki’s arms.

Ackles looked up then with a smile and kissed him back. It started out as a short welcome back peck, but then they didn’t pull apart. Their lips started moving against each others’ and then their mouths parted, and Kim got a tiny peak of Padalecki’s tongue pushing into Ackles’s mouth.

It was only when Felicia murmured “Go Jared,” that Kim realized she could only see that because Felicia had zoomed in on them.

“Felicia!”

“Sit back and enjoy the show. I’ve only see them do it twice, but I swear, it doesn’t matter what your sexual orientation is. These two will set you on fire no matter what.”

And when Padalecki’s hands trailed lower, gripping Ackles’s ass tight and forcing a tiny, needy moan out of him, which sounded impossibly loud in the van, Kim understood. There was something about these two, and the energy that bled into the van through the tiny monitor, that made her own blood heat up.

“Bed. Now,” Padalecki growled out and hoisted Ackles up by the back of his thighs. He carried his boyfriend with ease, even with his eyes closed in obvious ecstasy as Ackles kissed up and down his neck.

Kim tracked them through two monitors until they were in the bedroom and Padalecki threw Ackles down on the bed.

“Jared,” Ackles breathed out, voice low and shot, and shamelessly spread his legs. Jared let out another growl that was much more animalistic than human, and ripped off his blazer and shirt in one go, revealing a perfectly sculpted chest. Kim imagined she was staring just as hungrily as Jensen was, because even though she preferred the female form most of the time, she could definitely appreciate the beauty of a perfectly muscled male chest. And there was just something so compelling about Jared.

In the smoothest move she’d ever seen, Jared shed his shoes and socks, and crawled onto the bed between Jensen’s legs, powerful muscles working under the tan skin of his back.

Felicia let out a sigh, and it brought Kim out of her daze. She was staring, she realized - lusting even - but faced with the two men devouring each other on the screen, she was unable to maintain her professional distance. She was consumed by the images of Jared and Jensen kissing, biting at each other’s lips, as their hands frantically explored each others’ bodies and low moans filled the air.

Kim shot Felicia another look, noticed the curve of her breast under her red blouse - Felicia rebelled against the black and white dress code with elaborate belt buckles and colorful tops - and the way her long hair fell in soft waves of her back and Kim _wanted_. But then Jensen moaned again, and her eyes were drawn back to the monitor.

Jensen’s shirt was lying in tatters on the bed, and Jared was busy biting up and down his neck, tweaking his nipple with one of his hands. Jensen arched up again, rubbing their hips together, and his hands scratched tiny welts into Jared’s skin. Kim watched, amazed, as they disappeared moments later.

“Jared, c’mon, wanna feel you,” Jensen moaned out, and Jared moved up to kiss him.

“Yeah.”

For a moment, it looked like their pants were glimmering, then the clothes just disappeared in a thin cloud of grey that swirled around their legs, and they were naked.

“What the fuck?” Kim asked.

Felicia just shook her head, never looking away from the screen. “They’ve never done that before. It almost looked like-”

She broke off when Jared pulled back, and for a split second, they had a clear view of Jared’s dick; bigger, more pronounced, but immediately hidden again from view when he flipped Jensen around and then buried his face between his cheeks. She had no idea what that meant - there wasn’t really a guide to identifying the supernatural by their dicks - but again it wasn’t anything she could focus on. The noises Jensen was letting out would put any porn star to shame, breathless moans and bitten off pleas floating through the room, curling around Kim like velvety strands of pleasure and speeding up her heartbeat.

“Yes, gods, right there. Harder, right - fuck.” Jensen had his head turned towards her and his eyes were narrowed to slits, the green in them glinting through his long lashes, and his full mouth was open, panting out choppy breaths. Jared’s hands - so dark on Jensen’s fair skin - were holding his cheeks apart and Jared was licking up and down Jensen’s crack with steady strokes, dipping his tongue into the tiny hole again and again. And Kim was sure her mind was playing tricks on her, because Jared’s tongue seemed longer, more dexterous than a human tongue as it moved with purpose over Jensen’s skin.

Jensen’s hands were digging into the pillows, and the freckles on his back were glowing, a golden sheen dusting his skin. Kim knew there was something off about this picture, how Jensen seemed to glow from the inside out and how the skin on Jared’s back threw shiny reflections of the afternoon’s sun against the far wall. But she couldn't concentrate, couldn’t give a fuck about anything other than keeping her eyes open and drinking in the enchanting sight before her.

Next to her, Felicia was just as captivated, lips parted and breathing heavily. Kim didn’t know when they had moved closer to each other, but then again, she didn’t care. The van was buzzing with energy, the tension between them growing with every second Jared and Jensen touched and kissed.

Jared pulled back then, kneeling behind Jensen in all his glory, huge dick now perfectly visible, with heavy ridges spaced down the shaft to the slightly bulging knot at the base. Its shape tickled something in the back of her mind, but she forgot about it when Jared let his hands trail reverently over Jensen's back, fingers dancing over the glinting spots.

“So fucking beautiful, most beautiful treasure of all, prettier than any jewel could ever be.”

Sensuously, Jensen pushed himself up on all fours and looked at Jared over his shoulder, eyes half-lidded. He licked his lips. “What do you want?”

“I want to fuck you,” Jared said, and it was so commanding and absolute that Kim couldn’t breathe for a moment.

Jensen just pushed his ass back against Jared’s dick. “How?” he asked, voice even lower, like a dark song, luring the listener into an endless pit of pleasure.

Jared’s eyes started to glint then, yellow glow giving his face an eerie expression, foreign and powerful. He reached out, and his long fingers touched Jensen’s full lips.

“I want to kiss you,” he said, and just like Jensen's voice, his own had dropped several octaves.

In one fluid motion, Jensen twisted himself around, legs immediately spread for Jared again. Jared leaned over him, nipping teasingly at his lips before he sat up on his haunches, taking Jensen with him and pulling him up into his lap. Yeah, no way Jensen didn’t know what his boyfriend was, not when he wrapped his hand so surely around Jared’s dick and started stroking it. And suddenly Kim remembered, she had seen something like this once before, at her sister’s bachelorette party, when a bunch of drunken women had introduced her to a certain fantasy sextoy internet site.

“Bad Dragon,” she whispered without meaning to, but Felicia’s head whipped around, staring at her with wide eyes.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” she exclaimed with flushed cheeks and an excited gleam in her eyes.

“What?”

“Dragon! Padalecki is a fucking dragon!”

“Dragons are real?” Kim was stumped. There had been nothing about dragons in the binder. She was just about to ask why they weren’t in the binder, when her attention was captured by the screen once again though, when Jensen rose up and then lowered himself down on Jared’s dick. He went slowly, but not hesitantly. No, he was savoring it, head thrown back and eyes closed, mouth open in pleasure. His whole body was relaxed, Jared holding him with steady hands and bulging biceps, until Jensen sank down completely, taking every inch of Jared’s dick in one smooth move.

“God yes,” Jensen moaned out and Jared leaned forward to kiss him. It was languid and thorough, and for the longest moment they stayed like that, until Jensen lifted himself up, inch by tortuous inch. Kim’s eyes were drawn down to where their bodies were connected, trying not to blink while one ridge after another was exposed, until only the tip of Jared’s dick remained inside.

“Jensen…” Jared ground out. “Fuck. Please.”

Jensen looked at him with an angelic smile and then slammed down. Jared’s mouth opened, but instead of a scream, a bright blue flame shot out. It didn’t deter Jensen in the slightest; as a matter of fact, it seemed to spur him into moving his hips impossibly fast, riding Jared’s dick as if it was the only thing keeping him alive.

Jared moved with him, strong thighs flexing every time he pushed up, driving his cock deeper and deeper into Jensen. He gripped Jensen’s ass tight, pulling him in, and the new angle made Jensen shout in pleasure. The air around him shimmered, like a gauze veil falling away, and then suddenly there was a pair of translucent wings on his back. The upper pair was longer, thin fringes curling gracefully from the tip. The lower pair was shorter, and more rounded. Like those of a butterfly, the wings were growing from a place between his shoulderblades, pearlescent glow lining the fringes of the see-through membranes in soft greens and blues. The sheer material glinted in the sun’s rays, bathing the room in soft, spectral light while the wings moved with every up and down roll of Jensen’s body.

“Fae,” Felicia breathed out next to her, and Kim pressed their knees together and took her hand, compelled by something more than her own desire.

On the screen, Jared and Jensen were chasing their climax, movements getting more and more frantic, the air around them glimmering like the air over sun-heated asphalt in the summer. Jensen's wings were beating harder, golden dust nebulizing the air. He buried his fingers in Jared’s long hair and violently drew him in, biting at his lips more than kissing him, and Jared responded in kind, fingers digging into the soft swell of Jensen’s ass.

“Jared.” Jensen’s voice was completely shot, a broken whisper that sent shivers down Kim’s spine. “Jared, please. I want it.”

“Yes,” Jared hissed out, smoke curling from his nostrils. “Gonna make you mine, my treasure.”

He pumped his hips up harder, each thrust eliciting a shouted moan from Jensen, until his whole body tensed, back perfectly arched and wings spread wide. A cloud of golden dust erupted around him, and Jared hoarsely shouted Jensen’s name, another flame shooting from his mouth, before he fell forward through the glimmering air, burying Jensen beneath him.

Suddenly it was very quiet in the van.

“Erm.” Felicia cleared her throat. “I think you can let go of my hand now.”

The spell broke, and whatever world Kim had just caught a glimpse of was gone, leaving her in the stuffy air of the surveillance van.

“Sorry,” she said, and reluctantly let go of Felicia’s hand. Her heart was still beating too fast and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Felicia shook her head, like she was chasing the remnants of a dream away, and laughed. “Don’t worry about it. We just watched a fae and a dragon get it on, and that… I don’t know, but I think we can be glad that all we did was holding hands.”

“So, what do we do now?” Kim asked, watching as Padalecki rolled to the side, taking Ackles with him. They were still connected, Padalecki _tied_ to Ackles with his dragon knot, sending another wave of heat through Kim’s body. They were completely relaxed, Padalecki lazily stroking Ackles’s back, from the dimples above his ass up to the base of his wings. The wings moved slowly, opening and closing just the tiniest bit, while Ackles leaned in for a soft kiss.

“We report back to headquarters. This is unprecedented. We need to inform the Director.”

For obvious reasons they couldn’t leave the van - a discovery like this could not be let out of sight - but a video conference was arranged instantly.

The Director and his two Vice Directors were sitting in the shadows of their high chairs and they didn't believe what they told him, not until Felicia replayed the important moments of the video. There was an unnerving silence.

“Well,” Vice Director One said with a British accent, “Dragons. I’m glad we can finally confirm the fae’s enemy. We only had rumors before... Interesting to see the two of them together though. A dragon lord and a fae prince… that could mean peace for eternity.”

“Or an apocalyptic war if they break up,” the second Vice Director interjected, just as Felicia asked, “Prince?”

“Oh yeah,” the Director said offhandedly. “You wouldn’t know, seeing as everything fae-related is highly classified, but that kind of wing form appears solely in the royal family. They probably brought him to our dimension during the last big fight before the peace treaties and he’s remained here. How he ended up with a dragon, I have no idea, but this could be good for us.”

“Very good,” VD Number One echoed.

“Or disastrous,’” VD Number Two interjected.

“Well then,” the Director said, and clapped his hands, “you know what you have to do!”

“Not exactly, Sir,” Kim said carefully, because, in reality, she had no fucking idea what to do now.

“The winter solstice is coming up in a few weeks. There will be new negotiations in the faerie realm, so these two have to stay together to ensure there won’t be a new war.”

“Yes,” Kim said, head still spinning from all the new information, “but I don’t understand what _we_ should do.”

“Make sure no one disrupts them and that they stay a happy couple, no matter what!” And with that, the monitor went black.

Kim leaned back on her rickety stool. “I assume this is the strangest assignment you’ve ever gotten?”

Felicia looked at her thoughtfully. “Well, actually there was this one time in Arizona… but this is definitely the coolest! I mean, dragons! And fae! This is going to be awesome.” Something blinked on her computer. “Oh, and look! They sent the super secret, Red Level, classified files over! I always wanted to take a look into these! If I’d known there’d be fae in there.. and dragons…”

Kim wanted to say something, but then thought better of it. Of course the Company would have super secret, Red Level, classified files. And _of course_ her assignment would be to make sure two super powerful supernatural creatures continued to be in a happy, healthy, sex-filled relationship. Just another day at work.

 

The night shift came to relieve them at eight o’clock sharp. Agent Hodge was a computer geek just like Felicia, but with his broad shoulders and easy smile, he didn’t look the part. His partner Agent Kane was the embodiment of a cowboy, even in the regulations abiding suit.

They had been briefed on the situation. Kim knew they were senior agents, and they behaved accordingly. Hodge wasn’t entirely successful at hiding his excitement (“Dragons, man!” which earned him a fist bump from Felicia), but Kane was coolness personified. He tipped his imaginary hat when Kim and Felicia left, told them he’d see them the next morning, and that he took his donut with chocolate. Aldis yelled something about sprinkles just as the door closed.

“I guess we should go home and get some shut-eye,” Kim said.

Felicia nodded. “We should. No idea if I can sleep, though. I mean, dragons!” She did a little wavy move with her hands that was just too adorable and blushed a bit. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, I get it,” Kim reassured her. “It’s my first big case and, well, apparently it couldn’t be bigger.”

“Well, an alien invasion would be. But that’s usually handled by Tommy and Will.”

“Usually? How many have there been?”

“Oh, uhm, well, I’m not sure… But really don’t worry about it, they’re pros! And trust me, if we handle this right, we’ll be the new employees of the month!” Felicia said cheerfully.

After the strange day she had, Kim didn’t doubt for a second that the Company, the most badass and secret of all secret agencies, actually had employees of the month.

*

After a night of strange dreams she couldn’t really remember, her alarm clock woke her up way too early. When she showed up at the van, Felicia was already there, her usually chipper self with four coffees and a giant box of donuts. They had breakfast in the van, and apart from a marathon sex session that had lasted three parts of the night, they hadn’t missed anything.

“You recorded it, right?” Felicia whispered to Hodge, who grinned and nodded.

Kane rolled his eyes. “Alright ladies, keep an eye on the new Brangelina. We’re outta here.”

So Kim and Felicia settled into their respective seats and watched how a dragon and a fae slept. Ackles’s wings seemed to have gone invisible again - Kim had read up on fae lore last night before going to bed, the secret files providing a wealth of speculated information. The fae, the royal rulers of the faerie realm, were so powerful that they could hide their magic, their appearance, and themselves from everything humans came up with, and from most other creatures as well. Their powers surpassed every known beings’ on earth and very few alien races came even close. Well, with the exception of dragons, of course, but information about them was even more sketchy. But the fae seldom bothered with the human world, unlike their less powerful relatives like goblins and gnarls and the likes.

Padalecki and Ackles started the day with sex. Obviously. The dragon woke up first, stretched his impressive muscles, and then walked in all his naked glory to the bathroom. When he came back, he climbed in behind Jensen and started nosing at his neck. Felicia had to change cameras to get the best angle, but in the end, she settled on the one showing Jensen’s happy sleeping face.

“Morning, treasure,” Jared said, and Jensen hummed.

The bedsheet moved as Jared’s hand trailed down Jensen’s back. “Shit, you’re still wet from last night.”

Jensen wiggled his ass a bit. “Get inside then. Wanna feel you.”

Jared didn’t waste a second, but when he slid in, Jensen stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Stay. Just like this.”

“Jensen...” Jared groaned.

The fae turned his head around and looked at Jared with wide green eyes. “Please?”

And the dragon just gave an exasperated chuckle and sank back into the pillows. They laid there for the longest time, and it took a while before Jared started moving his hips in tiny movements, and even longer before Jensen said, “Now.”

When he did though, Jared moved faster than they could see, pulling Jensen’s ass up and kneeling behind him, fucking the fae hard and fast. This time, there were no wings visible and no flames, but it was still hot as fuck.

After, they stumbled into the shower together and stayed there for a fifteen minute make out session, that ended with Jared lifting Jensen up and fucking him against the wall.

“Are we sure about what they are?” Kim asked, when Padalecki left the apartment after kissing Ackles goodbye for almost five minutes. “They could just be mutated bunnies.”

Felicia snorted and typed away on her keyboard. The rest of the morning, they watched Ackles milling around the house. It was Saturday, so he didn’t have classes, and after cleaning up a bit, he started cooking some kind of elaborate meal. Kim was impressed to see he actually prepared beets from scratch and cooked them in a pan with lots of other vegetables, some of which Kim wasn’t sure even grew in their dimension, but it looked delicious.

She kept up a more or less steady stream of small talk with Felicia. They talked about nothing and everything, an undercurrent of flirtiness running through all of their conversations. By late afternoon, Kim felt pretty good about asking Felicia out for drinks after their shift.

Her plans went to shit when Padalecki returned.

Once again, he appeared out of thin air and let himself into the apartment. Ackles greeted him with a kiss and a smile. “Just in time for dinner.”

Padalecki smirked and eyed Ackles hungrily. “Thank fire I’m hungry then.”

Ackles laughed and slapped Padalecki lightly on the chest. “Food first, sex later.”

Padalecki rolled his eyes, but followed the fae into the living room, eyes firmly trained on his ass. The dragon indeed had a big appetite. Kim couldn’t blame him though, for the longer she watched Ackles, the more prettiness she discovered.

“What’s that?” Padalecki asked, scrunching up his nose and looking sceptically at the big pan on the table.

“It’s stir fry,” Ackles said.

“That… does not look like stir fry,” Padalecki said, poking around at the food with the long serving spoon.

“Well, it’s fae stir fry,” Ackles said, slightly irritated. “I got the recipe out of my grandmother’s book.”

Padalecki was looking more put off by the second. “No offense to your granny, but this does not look appealing.”

“Yes, well, it tastes good. So kindly shut up about the food I cooked for you, sit down, and eat.”

Padalecki clearly had never been in a relationship before, because otherwise he would have noticed the signs. As it was, he was oblivious to Ackles’s bitchy voice, the way his eyes narrowed and his mouth pressed into a thin line.

“Shit, are those beets? Because I really don't like beets.”

“I stood in the kitchen for hours!” Ackles shouted, a sudden glow filling the room, before he got himself under control and continued in a calmer voice. “You have never eaten beets prepared like this, so how about you try before you judge?”

Padalecki’s expression went from surprised to slightly annoyed. “I just don’t like them, and there’s nothing you can do about that. And what's with the rabbit food anyway? I really wanted steak tonight.”

Jensen crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot on the ground. “Well, if you wanted steak, why didn’t you let me know? It’s not like I don’t have a crystal you could call.”

Padalecki rolled his eyes. “Not that again. You know I don’t like that thing.”

“Right,” Ackles bit out, “you rather not talk to me for three days while you’re gone on one of your super important business trips, than talk through a fucking crystal.”

Uh uh. Kim was getting a bad feeling here. It was like watching two trains headed straight for each other, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

“But you know what? That’s not what this is about. This is about you never appreciating it when I do something nice for you!”

“Cooking something I don’t like isn’t really-” Padalecki broke off in favor of ducking so the plate Ackles threw at him wouldn’t hit him in the face.

“You’re an inconsiderate asshole.”

Padalecki smirked. “That’s not what you said last night.” Ackles threw another plate at him, and really, it went downhill from there.

Kim and Felicia watched in growing horror as Ackles proceeded to throw dishes and cutlery at Padalecki, who apparently hadn’t caught on the the severity of the situation and was still teasing the fae.

“C’mon on, don’t be like that, treasure.”

“Don’t call me that! I’m not one of your fucking gemstones!” Ackles yelled and the pan hit the wall above Padalecki’s head and doused him in fae stir fry.

The dragon went eerily quiet and his eyes started to glow yellow. Kim was getting a really bad feeling about this.

“Yeah, I noticed…” Padalecki said, voice hard as steel.

“Excuse me?” Ackles asked, his own voice cold as ice.

Flames suddenly erupted around Padalecki and when they disappeared again, the stir fry was burned to ashes that Padalecki carefully dusted off his shirt. “Well, you always do this,” he told Ackles. “Always act so overly dramatic, just like the rest of your people, getting your wings flustered at every little thing.”

“Insulting my people,” Ackles said, and nodded, “it’s been a while since you did that. I actually missed it.”

Padalecki snorted. “Don’t pout, princess, you know I love you.”

“You do?” Ackles asked. “Because you don’t like my cooking or my people, you have no interest in my studies, you don’t even care enough to call me every time you disappear, and you belittle me at every opportunity. So I wonder: do you love me? Or just my ass?”

“Well, you do have a pretty ass.” Padalecki waggled his eyes.

Ackles crossed his arms over his chest. “Is that all you can come up with?”

“No,” Padalecki smirked, and Kim didn't think this was going into the right direction. _At all_. “You also have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, sparkling like emeralds, and a mouth just made for sucking dick.” Yes, epic fail.

“How about something not related to how I look?” Ackles raised his eyebrows in challenge and Felicia was viciously nodding along with what he said.

“You make the prettiest noises when I fuck you,” Padalecki said, voice going deep and rough, but Kim doubted it was having the desired effect.

“How about you get your scaly ass out of here,” Ackles said, with a voice that could have frozen a burning fire. “And think about why you want to be with me. Because I’m not gonna be your trophy fae you can show off and fuck whenever you like.”

“You tell him, Jensen!” Felicia yelled and shook her fist at the monitor.

Padalecki just arched an eyebrow. “If I _could_ show you off. But no, we have to be all secretive about it until you can go home so your parents hear it from you first. Wouldn’t want to hurt the delicate fae’s feelings…”

“I’ll show you delicate feelings if you’re not out of here in three seconds!” Ackles bit out.

“It’s cute how you actually think you can threaten me,” Padalecki said. “I am-”

He didn’t get any further. The air around Ackles began to glow again, glittering spheres dancing around him. They hovered in the air for a moment, before they were propelled forward by an invisible force, going straight at Padalecki. The dragon answered with a wall of fire.

“We’re doomed,” Felicia said, voice empty, staring at the screen with dread in her eyes. “They’re going to kill each other over beets and then the fae and the dragons will go to war and there’ll be a zombie apocalypse and we’ll all die.”

Watching the fight taking place in the dining room, Kim had to agree. Glimmering fae magic was swirling through the room, tangling with bright blue flames, moving like whips through the charged air. Ackles and Padalecki were clouded in their magic and Kim couldn’t understand what they were shouting at each other over the thunderous clapping sounds erupting whenever their powers collided. She only understood the occasional word snatches. And those weren’t promising.

_…your bitching…_

_...condescending dickwad…_

_...sensitive, always blow up…_

_...possessive bastard, only want my ass…_

_...I hate beets…_

_…I LABORED OVER THOSE FUCKING BEETS!..._

 

After a final explosion that shook the building to its foundations, the dust settled, and it was quiet. The apartment’s interior was completely destroyed, every piece of furniture burned or singed, toppled over or thrown about the room. Padalecki and Ackles stood in the middle of the destruction, completely unharmed, but with twin expressions of anger on their faces.

“I don’t need to listen to this crap,” Padalecki bit out.

“Then why don’t you just fuck off?” Ackles asked.

Padalecki’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, I will.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

And then Padalecki turned around and stalked out of the apartment.

“Not good,” Felicia said, still staring at the screen. “Not good at all!”

 

Padalecki stormed down the stairs, smoke puffing from his nostrils and eyes still glowing yellow. Kim and Felicia stared at each other in horror.  
  
“Oh my gods, did they just break up?” Felicia asked with panic in her eyes.  
  
“I don’t know,” Kim said helplessly. This was so bad that she didn’t even know if it would fit on the emergency situation barometer anymore. “I mean, you don’t break up over beets, do you?”  
  
“But dragons! And fae! And temper! And there were flying dishes and fire, and oh my god, if they go to war...”  
  
“Our world may end,” Kim whispered.  
  
They jumped up at the same time and hurried out of the van, running along the street to catch up with the dragon.  
  
“Padalecki! Shit, Mr. Padalecki, wait! Sir!”  
  
They came to a sudden stop when Padalecki swirled around and glared at them. In person he was even more impressive and intimidating, and for a moment Kim couldn’t speak. Thank god Felicia and her blabbermouth saved her.  
  
“Oh god, Mr. Padalecki, you have to go back and apologize, please, you can’t-”  
  
“Who the fuck are you?” he hissed.  
  
“I’m Agent Day, this is Agent Rhodes, we’re with the-”  
  
“I know who you’re with,” he cut her off again. “Were you spying on me? On Jensen?”  
  
“Well…”  
  
“WERE YOU SPYING ON JENSEN?” Padalecki’s voice shook the ground and the lightbulbs in the surrounding streetlamps exploded.  
  
“Aha!” Felicia exclaimed triumphantly and Kim didn’t know why breaking glass was a reason for celebrating.  
  
“I knew you still cared for him. You love him, and you didn’t mean what you said in there, right?”  
  
Padalecki glared at her. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now for your impudence.”  
  
“We can help you,” Kim said quickly.  
  
“Help me?” Padalecki snorted, thankfully without smoke this time. “How could two little humans help me?”  
  
“Well, Jensen seemed pretty pissed,” Kim explained, gathering all of her courage. “We can help you get back together with him.”  
  
Padalecki opened his mouth for a reply, face already dark with anger, but Felicia beat him to it. “No, listen, we don’t want to impose or anything, but what you and Jensen have, that’s true love. And I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you, a dragon and a fae. But your love is beautiful and you can’t let your situation get in the way. Please, we just want to help.”  
  
“Out of the goodness of your heart?” the dragon asked and Felicia nodded eagerly. “Not because you’re afraid our people might go to war and extinguish all human life in the process?”  
  
“Well, that too,” Kim said, because she figured lying to Padalecki wasn’t the way to go. “But we can all win here. I mean, beets or no beets, you don’t want to give Jensen up, right?”  
  
“I will _never_ give him up,” Padalecki hissed.  
  
“Except Jensen was right, you know,” Felicia said, looking innocently up to Padalecki. “He isn’t a gemstone you can just lock up in your treasure chest, he’s a person. You can’t just make him sit around and wait for you, only taking him out to play whenever you want to.” Felicia was glaring at an obviously taken aback dragon, but it didn’t deter her. She pointed her finger threateningly at Padalecki. “Jensen is a person, a great guy, and he deserves your respect! And you didn’t even try the beets! He’s your boyfriend, you should at least give him the benefit of the doubt. He might be able to cook something nice!”  
  
Padalecki dragged a hand through his hair. “This is not about the beets.”  
  
“No, this is about you not respecting him, not seeing him as an equal!” Felicia shot back.  
  
“He’s almost five hundred years younger than I am!”  
  
“Oh, bohoo, you’re not the first May-December romance, and that’s no excuse. You just don’t wanna give up your own routine, don’t want to make compromises. But that’s not how a relationship works!” Felicia had talked herself into a frenzy, walking up and down and waving her arms around. If Kim wasn’t still so scared their world might end, she’d find it unbelievably cute. And also hot, because Felicia was standing up to one of the possibly most powerful beings in existence. The slacks she was wearing were accentuating her long legs when she strode up and down, her jacket flapping behind her, showing a slim waist. The top button of her green blouse had opened and Kim got a peek at the soft swell of her breast. Shit. She needed to focus. She’d just blame it on watching too much supernatural porn.  
  
“If you don’t apologize and change how you treat this relationship, you’re gonna lose Jensen forever!” Felicia seemed to be done with her speech now, and from the way she took a step back and scrunched her eyes closed, she clearly expected the worse, but instead of ripping her apart, Padalecki’s shoulders slumped and his expression changed from furious to dejected.  
  
“Fuck, you’re right. It’s just… Jensen is so infuriating! He never does what I expect and he always catches me off guard. I mean, not only is he fae, the actual mortal enemy of my race, but he’s the most stubborn, most demanding creature I have ever met!”  
  
“I know,” Kim said and carefully patted Padalecki’s arm. He actually looked like he needed it. “But you love each other, and this is nothing you can’t fix.”  
  
The dragon sighed. “I need to go get a burger first.”  
  
“I don’t think this is the time to go eat,” Felicia said disapprovingly.  
  
“I get really unreasonable when I don’t eat enough meat,” Padalecki explained. He shook his head and smiled reluctantly. “And Jensen always insists on feeding me this faerie crap. Because he feels closer to home when he cooks his Granny’s recipe’s. Which I get, but still, sometimes my temper just gets the better of me.”  
  
Kim fished her cell out of her pocket. Kane answered immediately. “I need a bag full of burgers at the van immediately. And not the fast food ones, the ones with a lot of real meat on them. I assume you know where to get them.”  
  
Padalecki looked at her mockingly. “What’s next, you’re gonna call the SWAT team to get me a bouquet of red roses?”  
  
“I doubt that would help,” Kim said. “What you need is to learn how to grovel.”  
  
“I can’t believe this,” Padalecki said. “I am-”  
  
“And you need to learn some humility,” Felicia interrupted him. “If I hadn’t seen for myself what a great lay you are, I’d be seriously questioning Jensen's decision to put up with you!”  
  
For a second Padalecki’s eyes flared yellow, but Felicia didn’t back down. Kim reached inconspicuously for her gun. She had no idea if it would work on a dragon, but she was not about to let Padalecki hurt her partner without doing anything.  
  
Padalecki surprised her though, by throwing his head back and laughing. “You can put away your gun, Agent Rhodes. I won’t hurt your little firecracker. I actually like her. She’s got spunk.”  
  
Felicia beamed for a second before she remembered she was mad at Padalecki. “Don’t even think about charming your way back in. It’s not going to work on me and it’s definitely not going to work on Jensen!”  
  
A sleek black car drew up at the curve then, and Kane and Hodge got out. “Somebody order food?”  
  
They all crammed into the van to eat and Kim tried not to think about the bizarreness of the situation. Instead, she did her best not to gape as Padalecki wolfed down burger after burger and attempted to concentrate on her own food. Kane and Hodge had brought enough to feed an army - or rather four agents and one dragon.  
  
Felicia ate the least of them, but then she was too busy lecturing Padalecki on how to best grovel before Jensen and which things he should apologize for and what he should promise to do better in the future. The list was so long that she didn’t eat more than half a pack of fries, and most of the ketchup she dipped them in flew through the van when she gesticulated wildly. Padalecki listened sceptically, but he kept glancing at the monitors where Jensen could be seen, still erupting into occasional bouts of violence, so he nodded along with everything Felicia said.  
  
“So,” Padalecki said, when he had eaten about twelve burgers, “why exactly are we under surveillance?”  
  
Kim exchanged nervous looks with Felicia and Aldis.  
  
It was Kane who answered. “Because you’re a player. And we needed to know if you’re one of the bad guys or the good guys.”  
  
Padalecki grinned wryly. “And what conclusion did you come to?”  
  
Kane grinned right back. “There’s probably not a lot that we could do if you were a bad guy, so thank fuck it turned out you’re one of the good guys. Even though we should probably talk about your dealing with Caronian stones.”  
  
Padalecki laughed, and his dimples came out full force. It made him look so much younger, and actually quite harmless, but no one in here was fooled. The Red Level files hadn't held a lot of intel on dragons, but what they _had_ revealed had been pretty impressive: immortality, or something close to it, the ability to walk between all worlds and dimension in either form, fire-breathing... The ability to fly was just the cherry on the cake.  
  
“How about we talk about that after the winter solstice?” Padalecki asked, and smoothed out his pants when he stood up. He filled the small space of the van in a way a lesser man of his height wouldn’t and Kim was once again stunned by the fact that she’s just eaten burgers with a dragon.  
  
Padalecki extended his hand and Kane shook it. “And call me Jared,” he said. “We shared a meal and held a war council… or something like it.”  
  
“Christian,” Agent Kane replied. “Aldis, Felicia, and Kim. It’s an honor.”  
  
“Just remember,” Felicia said, “to apologize. And you have to mean it!”  
  
“Wish me luck,” he said. He stopped in the doorway. “One more thing though: you must delete all video of me and Jensen fucking. If not, I’ll find you and I’ll forget about sharing a meal, got it?”  
  
They all nodded frantically. “I mean, I can’t blame you,” Padalecki smirked and preened, “but Jensen is mine and no one gets to see him but me!” With that, he disappeared, leaving only the thinnest whisp of smoke behind.  
  
He appeared in front of the door to Jensen’s apartment and drew in a deep breath before he knocked.  
  
Jensen had spent the last half hour pacing up and down his living room, occasionally letting out a burst of fae glitter to clean up or repair something, only to topple it over seconds later. It seemed dragons weren’t the only ones with a temper.  
  
When Jared knocked, he glared at the door and threw a lamp in its direction. “Go away!”  
  
“Trea- Jensen, can we please talk?”  
  
“No!”  
  
“Jensen! Jensen, I know - did you ward the door?” Jared asked, rattling the door.  
  
“Yes, I did!” Jensen shouted and stormed over to his door. “I don’t want to see your lizardy self in my apartment ever again, you got that?”  
  
Jared took another deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? I was… I was out of line and unfair, and I messed up. You’re not a gemstone for my treasure chest, you’re a person,” Jared said, repeating Felicia’s words. She nodded enthusiastically along with them and Kim had hope. Right up until Jared said, “And I’m sorry about insulting the food. Felicia told me I should respect you even when you cook horrible things for me, and she’s right."  
  
 _Oh no._  
  
“Oh no,” Felicia repeated Kim’s thoughts. “No, no, abort, abort!”  
  
“Felicia?” Jensen asked after a short pause. “Who the fuck is Felicia?”  
  
Shit. Kim wondered if this could get any worse.  
  
Jared obviously realized his mistake and tried to backpedal. “What? No one important. The important thing is, that I understand why you were angry-”  
  
“Were? Try are!” Jensen interrupted him, but Jared talked on.  
  
“And I’m really sorry, treasure. I love you for more than just your looks, you gotta believe me. You’re smart, and great and strong willed and you’re the first creature I ever loved.”  
  
“Wow, I feel so honored,” Jensen said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Is that also something Felicia said you should tell me?”  
  
“What? No. It’s… Fuck, excuse me that I’m not good at this, but I never needed to apologize before!”  
  
Yep, getting worse.  
  
Jensen’s hands balled to fist and the air around him started to glimmer in a decidedly vicious fashion. “Of course not, because you’re so fucking perfect, and so _wise_!”  
  
“That - That’s enough. I’m not going to beg you to take me back! I apologized and either you accept or we’re over!” Jared’s face was red and Kim could see his pulse beating angrily even from the distance.  
  
“Well, then I guess we’re over!” Jensen snarled.  
  
“Fine!”  
  
“Fine!”  
  
  
“Shit!” Chris said into the silence of the van.  
  
“Double shit,” Aldis said when Padalecki appeared suddenly in the van, smoke curling from his nostrils.  
  
“See what happened there? You were no help at all. And that stubborn fae, there’s just no reasoning with him! I’m done, you hear me? Done!”  
  
“Okay, first of all,” Kim said, because she could not let Felicia take the blame here, “you were the one who messed up. And secondly, we can talk to Jensen. Make him listen to you.”  
  
Jared snorted. “Good luck with that. I mean, did you hear him? That, that infuriating _brat_!”  
  
Aldis stood up and clapped Jared on the shoulder. “You love him.”  
  
Jared slumped down on the small stool Aldis had vacated. “I do. The first time in all my five hundred years, I feel like that, and I have to feel it for the most stubborn fae there is!”  
  
Felicia stood up, determination on her face. “Fear not, great dragon, we will help! Kim! Let’s go!”  
  
Kim stood up, her arm tingling where Felicia had gripped her and dragged her along. The guys’ expression varied between worried and bemused, but Kim followed Felicia anyway.  
  
“It might be better not to tell Jensen my first name though,” Felicia whispered to her when they were walking up the stairs. “Let’s just stick to Agent Day for once.”  
  
Kim nodded, and then they walked into the building and up to Ackles’s door. Kim knocked.  
  
“Fucking Oberon, go away!”  
  
“Mr. Ackles?” Kim asked in her official voice. “This is the FBI, please open the door.”  
  
There was a moment of silence, some rattling and then, for a second, the doorframe lit up. The door swung open then, and for the first time, Kim came face to face with Jensen Ackles.  
  
Well shit. He was even prettier in real life.  
  
“How can I help you?” he asked, and tried to put his body in their line of sight, so they couldn’t see inside.  
  
“I’m Agent Rhodes, this is Agent Day. We’re here because of your boyfriend.”  
  
Jensen’s eyes widened. “What about him?”  
  
“Can we come inside?” Kim asked softly. “This is not something we should discuss in the hallway.”  
  
Jensen gulped, clearly worried now, and let them inside. Apparently, he had cleaned up in between her knocking and him opening the door. At least most things appeared to be in order, even though the sideboard was still suspiciously plate-free.  
  
“So, you wanted to talk about Jared?” Jensen asked, when they had sat down in the living room. He was fiddling with his hands.  
  
“Yes,” Kim said. This was what she was good at, why the Company had recruited her. Yes, she was also awesome at shooting and chasing the bad guys, or picking up clues in a destroyed room. But talking with a suspect or a possible asset... _that_ she excelled at. It was a mixture of her ability to appear comforting in a motherly way, her trustworthy eyes, and her gift for reading people. And Jensen might still be pissed at Jared, undoubtedly, but he was also worried.  
  
“First off, we’re not really FBI.”  
  
Felicia drew in a sharp breath next to her, but Jensen didn’t really seem surprised, but pleased instead. Good choice then, to go with the direct honesty approach.  
  
“We’re with an agency called the Company, you might have heard of us.”  
  
Jensen nodded tersely. “Yes. So, what is it you want with Jared?”  
  
“Nothing,” Kim said soothingly. “I’m not going to lie, your boyfriend is very powerful and he was a person of interest for a while, but he is no threat to us.”  
  
“Then what do you want?” Jensen asked warily.  
  
Kim took a breath and hoped this would work. “I’ll be honest here, we’ve had you under surveillance for a while. So we couldn’t help but notice that you and Jared had a fight. Now obviously you love each other very much, so we’re here to mediate.”  
  
“Is that a joke?” Jensen asked incredulously.  
  
“I’m afraid not.”  
  
“Look, Jensen,” Felicia said and leaned forwards, “I totally get why you’re mad. Jared really behaved like an ass. But he truly does love you. He’s just not used to having a relationship, and five hundred year old habits die hard. I’m sure he’ll try harder in the future!”  
  
“Whoa! Just, slow down here.” Jensen stood up and started pacing up and down in front of them. “You had _me_ under surveillance?”  
  
“It was the only place we knew Jared would certainly show up,” Kim explained. “It had nothing to do with you. We didn’t even know about you being fae until yesterday.”  
  
Jensen swirled around and fixed her with a hard stare. “How much did you see?”  
  
“Everything,” Kim answered, not batting an eye.  
  
Jensen cocked his head and looked from her to Felicia. “And you liked it,” he said, conviction in his voice. “What was your favorite part?”  
  
Kim waited, because Felicia would give the right answer. She wasn’t disappointed.  
  
“What? No! I mean, yeah okay, you guys were pretty hot, but it was all very professional! I mean, yeah, we had to zoom in to get all the details, and _man_ , Jared’s dick is pretty fucking huge, like, didn’t that hurt? I mean, just you know, professional interest. I wasn't, I mean, it was all equally, erm, good, I guess? I mean, the slow sex was pretty nice, it just seemed so intimate, you know? And loving. But when you were riding him, with the wings and all… Oh god, I’m so sorry, I’m gonna shut up now!”  
  
Kim would pat Felicia later for this genuine display of awe, but for now she hid her smirk. Jensen didn’t though, grinning broadly at them. “We are pretty hot, I guess.”  
  
“Uhm, yes. You are,” Felicia said, completely baffled.  
  
“I know,” Jensen said smugly, only to scowl a second later. “But why are you here now?”  
  
“Because we have to save the world!” Felicia exclaimed.  
  
“What?” Jensen asked, completely thrown.  
  
“Because we can’t let you go to war, because of the zombie apocalypse!”  
  
Completely nonplussed, Jensen turned to Kim. “What the fuck is she talking about?”  
  
“Well Jensen - can I call you Jensen?” Jensen nodded. “If you and Jared break up, the chances of a renewed peace treaty between the fae and the dragons are rather slim, if our intel is correct. And the last time your people and the dragons went to war, almost a third of Europe's population died. So it is in our best interest to help you out here. Also, you seem like a bright young man, who’s very much in love with a man who puts his foot into his mouth every time it gets serious, because he has no idea how to deal with a relationship. So how about you let us help? I mean, you do love him, don’t you?”  
  
Jensen opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, before he finally managed to speak. “But he’s such an ass! I mean, he, he treats me like I’m a little kid, or worse, some stupid little princess. Just because he’s five hundred years old, doesn’t mean he’s shitting wisdom out of his ass! And he just wants me to wait for him, but he never calls and he didn’t even _try_ the stir fry!”  
  
“Right? That was so rude!” Felicia agreed, and Kim kicked her inconspicuously in the shin.  
  
“And he’s very sorry about all that,” Kim said soothingly. “He knows he did wrong.”  
  
“Oh yeah?” Jensen asked, and crossed his arms over his chest. “And how do you know that?”  
  
“Because we talked to him,” Felicia answered. “And really, you should have seen him, he was so torn up about it!”  
  
“I see.” Jensen’s eyes narrowed to slits. “And which one of you is Felicia?”  
  
Felicia gulped, but bravely raised her hand. “Guilty. But I swear, I just tried to point out how a real relationship works. I told him it wasn’t enough to tell you how pretty you are... he has to do things for you, you know? He has to invest in the relationship!”  
  
“Right?” Jensen agreed, and Kim was relieved that he didn’t seem to be interested in killing Felicia. “I mean, he couldn’t even try one bite? I wasn’t asking too much, was I?”  
  
Felicia shook her head in sympathy. “You were totally right. I would have thrown him out as well. But Jensen, he’s never been in love. And he is - in love that is. He was so desperate, he just let his temper get the better of him in a stupid attempt to protect himself. But he loves you and he wants to make things right.”  
  
“But people don’t change,” Jensen said, and sat down in an armchair, looking impossibly young all of a sudden. “I was fooling myself into thinking this could work. But sex alone isn’t enough. It doesn’t matter that whenever we’re in the same room it feels like there’s no air left and I’ll suffocate if I don’t kiss him.”  
  
“Honey, he doesn’t have to change,” Kim said. “You’ll be happy with his possessive, and yes, slightly arrogant personality, if he only knows what you want from him. He already tries to make you happy, only he thinks you want compliments and pretty things.”  
  
It wasn’t hard to guess that the money for the apartment and the furniture had come from Padalecki, just like the vintage desk in the corner and the expensive watch Jensen was wearing.  
  
“He loves you, he just doesn’t know how to show it properly. But if you explain it to him…” Kim trailed off and smiled at Jensen. “It will all work out.”  
  
“But…”  
  
“Jeez, Jensen,” Felicia interrupted him, “I’m totally on your side, Jared was a total ass, but look at him. How many centuries does a man like that come along? You gotta give him a second chance!”  
  
“I know,” Jensen said, and his shoulders slumped. “I know how great he is. I mean, why do you think I start dating a fucking dragon in the first place? At first I thought he’d come to try to kill me…”  
  
“But he didn’t,” Felicia smiled.  
  
Jensen smirked. “Well actually he did, but I changed his mind. And the rest is history, as they say. And I knew it’d be difficult, at least as long as we had to hide, but… I just wanted to make him dinner, you know? He always brings me presents, because he’s stupidly rich, and protects me and I… I just wanted to do something nice for him. But what do you get a dragon that already has everything, on a college student budget?” Jensen let out a hollow laugh. “There’s only so much sex you can have. And my Granny’s recipe called this the Pan of Love, because of all the red beets, you know, so…”  
  
Felicia leaned over to Jensen and hugged him. “It’s going to be okay, I know it. You and Jared are made for each other!”  
  
They were so absorbed, they didn’t hear the knocking on the door, so Kim quietly got up. She let Jared in with a little wave, and the dragon walked determinedly into the living room.  
  
Jensen looked up with wide eyes. “Jared? What-”  
  
“I’m an ass,” Jared said, and took a deep breath. “I’m an arrogant, inconsiderate ass, and you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I love you. But apparently I can’t tell you that without putting my foot in my mouth, so I’ll prove it another way!”  
  
They watched in rapt attention as Jared produced a can of sliced beats from his jacket pocket, and breathed a thin ray of fire around its rim and took the lid off.  
  
“Jared-”  
  
“No. I love you and if this is what it takes…” And with that, Jared put the can to his lips, tipped his head back and swallowed. Kim almost threw up and Felicia made actual gagging noises while Jared ate the whole can of beets.  
  
When Jared was done, he put the empty can on the table and pulled a face. “That was the most disgusting thing I have ever done and that includes freeing myself from a lindworm’s stomach. Listen, treasure, I know I screwed up here, but just tell me what you want, and I’ll try my best to do it.”  
  
Jensen stood up and walked over to Jared. “This. This was what I want.” And then he kissed him.  
  
Jared immediately drew him into his arms and kissed back.  
  
“I think we should go,” Kim whispered to Felicia.  
  
“You think they’ll be fine?”  
  
“Well, we should definitely keep an eye on them until the winter solstice, just to be sure.”  
  
Felicia nodded and unconsciously licked her lips. “Yeah.”  
  
Kim wanted to lick her too. Very consciously though. She took her hand and dragged her out of the apartment. Just before she closed the door, she heard Jensen’s voice. “Eww, you taste disgusting! How can canned beets taste so bad? You need to go brush your teeth right now…”  
  
*  
  
When they got back into the van, Chris nodded and Aldis gave them a thumbs up. On the screen, Jared and Jensen were already half-naked and greedily making out with each other.  
  
“Didn’t Jensen say something about beet breath?” Felicia asked.  
  
Aldis nodded. “Yup. Jared just had to breathe fire though. I guess that burned the taste away.”  
  
“Alright ladies. Since our shift doesn’t technically start for another four hours, I think I’m gonna go home and get some more sleep,” Chris said and got up.  
  
Aldis followed him out, and then it was only Kim and Felicia left in the van.  
  
“You did good out there,” Kim saíd.  
  
Felicia shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, I thought I could pull off the rambling nerd much better than you could.”  
  
“Sexy and smart,” Kim said, and Felicia grinned at her.  
  
“You have no idea.”  
  
*  
  
“There are cameras in here,” Jared said, his voice sounding loud in the van’s small space, tilting his head to the side to accommodate Jensen’s mouth on his neck.  
  
“Let them see,” Jensen answered and leaned back, giving them an excellent view of his naked chest.  
  
Jared growled and leaned forward to bite in his neck. “No. This is all mine.”  
  
There was a sizzling sound as something dark dropped over the monitor. Then there was gray static, and the screens went black. Luckily, Jared didn’t know about the extra microphones hidden under the coffee table. Kim leaned back in anticipation of some excellent audio porn.  
  
*  
  
“So,” Kim said, when Jared and Jensen had finally fallen asleep, “now that we’ve successfully saved the world, how about we go out for a drink?”  
  
Instead of answering, Felicia leaned over and kissed her. Kim could work with that.

 

 

 

 

  
The End

 

 

 

Preview for the NSFW art created by [kjanddean](../users/kjanddean/pseuds/kjanddean)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Go and check out [kjanddean](../users/kjanddean/pseuds/kjanddean)'s amazing[ art here](http://kjanddean.livejournal.com/12903.html). It is NSFW, obviously, and also a tad spoilery in nature. Don’t forget to leave her the love for it she deserves, because once again, she created something amazing!


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